Saturday, March 21, 2009

Almost done.

After today's performance, we're done. I can't wait. I like the play and all... but it's eating up my time and leaving me exhausted which increases stress.

Like I don't have enough stress in my life as it is.

I really miss Lisse today... I kind of failed her yesterday... *sighs and rubs head* She needed me to be strong and I freaked out about stuff.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I had never meet a friend I once had. She effectively destroyed me in the end... I still haven't managed to heal. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be whole. Everyone always talks about guys breaking your heart... but sometimes friends do it more completely.

*sighs* Anyway... I'm just really lonely today. I read a random blog post today that got me thinking about a few things. It made me examine myself. And it made me miss Liss more. Right now, I really wish I could just freak out MAJORLY without someone getting on my case about language...

*chews lip* Yes... I have the tendency to cuss a little bit when I'm really stressed... It's a horrible habit. I hate it. I'm trying to break it... but it's better then what I used to do when I was really stressed out. (See September's post: Returning) I'm just at the breaking point lately. I'm so tired that I have no reserves to fall back on. That's why I can't wait for this play to be over. I am /this/ close to asking my parents if I can stay home from church on Sunday... I know. really bad of me. Especially since I was sick last week. But I need sleep... really really badly. If I break too far... I'm afraid of what might happen.

But here I go again, doing exactly what I'm trying not to do.

Anyway. I'm off. Wish me luck in our final performance.


1 comment:

ambersun said...

Thanks for your lovely comment on my sight.

All the best with your play.

I am planning to audition for Hamlet next week. Not sure how I'll go - I want the part of the Queen.

Like you I'm a bit exhausted with school, friends, church, writing etc. I need more energy.

God Bless