One week exactly. It's amazing. A month ago it seemed it would never come, but now I'm two days away from meeting my Angels and holding them in my arms. The thought is enough to cause me to gasp for breath. One week...
I was looking through my old PMs recently. One year ago this month Amma and I realized that it would be impossible for us to meet. She lived in New Jersey, I in Georgia. I had family up there, but with her parents as protective as they are, there would be no way to arrange a meeting. It was upsetting at the time, but as months passed and we grew closer the idea that I would never meet her became devastating. I would dream of ways we might possibly meet, either by chance, or by planning once we could. But it was difficult to know I would have to wait so long. Then Amma introduced me to Hannah. Another Heart-Sister I would never meet. As I have very few friends outside of the Internet (none at the time) it broke my heart to think I would never meet the two people I loved so much. Then an idea, a wisp of a possibility. A New Jersey party was being planned and Amma was thinking of going. Almost have joking and with no expectations, I asked my mother if she thought we could plan a trip up to visit family at that time, and attend the party while there. It was a shock when she actually accepted the idea and said that we would look into it. For the first time I had hope of meeting one of my Angels. I told her so and we became fixated on the idea of making it happen. And then Hannah said she would try to attend as well. It was incredible! We were going from none of us ever meeting, to all of us meeting at once! But the party was still months away and plans and situations still had to be worked through.
There were several near calls for me in going to the party. A few of them had to do with money, a couple were half-threatened punishments (My father said that if I didn't go to the prom, I wasn't going to the party. You can imagine I got my dress on in a hurry.), and a couple instances of something else entirely. Being as insecure as I am, there have been a few occasions where I've wondered if Amma and Hannah really want me to come, or if they are more interested in just being together. I still wonder sometimes, but through talking with my Angels, I know it's just his lies whispering in my ear. I know that they love me and want me, and even when his lies are taking over my mind, I can still feel it. Otherwise, why would I be here now?
Now... One week... In one week I will touch my Angels for the first time. Tell them I love you to their faces. Finally hear Amma's voice and see her face outside of my dreams. One week. So close. And closer still since we leave Thursday morning. Six days until that. Ai, it makes me tremble to think on it. One week. No longer a month, two months, 100 days... the marks we had celebrated before. No. It's close enough to know the weather on the day we meet, close enough that I can almost feel their arms around me and their voices in my ear... So close... So close to the thing that was never supposed to happen, but for His grace. All I can do is praise Him. Thank Him for giving us this chance.
Father, I can never thank you enough for giving us this. For pouring your love upon us in such an amazing way. And oh God, how could I ever give you half the devotion worthy of the amazing, unmeasurable, indescribable gift of my Angels. All I can do is to thank you until eternity ends.
No galu govad gen.