I don't know where I am or what I'm doing. Lately it feels like no one really cares in the end anyway. If I take a step back, I know that's not true, but late at night when I feel so alone it's hard to see the truth. And lately I feel so alone...

I need to get out of here. The stress of being here. Of dealing with all of this, with my mom, with home... It's driving me crazy and it's driving me to regrettable things... I need to get out of here. Matt offered to let me stay at his house and his mom is fine with it. Nothing would happen. Ms. Kim is amazing. But my dad... *rubs head* I could stay with Bit... but she's really one of the worst things for me. Kim, no. Faith, no. I... I have nowhere to go... And it's two more weeks to the day until Liss comes.

I don't think I can make it that long.

Each day it gets harder to hold on. I have no motivation for anything... I can barely force myself to get online. To write this. I have a major paper due Thursday that I haven't even begun. The added stress that puts on me brings me to the brink of insanity every time I think about it.

Not as if that's an excuse that will get me out of a zero for a grade. A ten to twelve page research paper. I need at least eight sources. I have four. I need to have all the research, my rough draft, bibliography, and works cited page done and turned in in a few days. Not to mention that Art project.

Can I just... vanish for a while? I can't handle life right now.

This all sucks. So bad.

Plus I was a major jerk to one of my best friends.

I seriously can't do anything right...